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Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope for Leinster

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Sam Cheese View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:06pm

It is a dark time for the Rebel Alliance (by which I mean Scarlets). The evil empire (by which I mean Leinster) have built a great big round space station, the Royal Death Star Showground.

 
On the fourth moon of Yavin (by which I mean the away coach’s booth in the RDS), the bloke in charge of the Rebels (by which I mean Nigel Davies) is concerned.

 

“The Death Star will be in range is 3 minutes, by which I mean we’re trailing by 2 points and there’s only 3 minutes to go. Which, on reflection, is a much smaller losing margins than even master Yoda predicted,” said Rebel Boss ND.

 

Just then, Princess Leia (by which I mean Laura off of Scarletfever) said “What we have to is fire a photon torpedo into that exhaust vent at the end of that trench (by which I mean kick a rugby ball through the posts thus scoring 3 points). Then the Death Star (RDS) will explode (Scarlets will win).

 

“But how will we get our X-Wings (players) in position? We need a miracle!”

 

Just then, Darth Vader (Leo Cullen) is penalised for not coming though the (Star) gate, thus giving Scarlets (Rebel Alliance) a penalty (crack at the exhaust vent).

 

First up is Jar Jar Binks (by which I mean Rhys Priestland), who misses as per. “Knickers! It’s just exploded on the outside of the port (by which I mean gone wide)”.

 

Just then, Jabba the Hutt (BOD) is penalised for being a ****. Luke Skywalker (by which I mean Wellies) flies his X-Wing into the trench (by which I mean prepares for the penalty).

 

Han Solo (Dai Lyons) flies over in the Millennium Falcon (walks over on his legs) and says “Let’s blow this thing kid, and go home (score the penalty and go home)!”

 

Just then, a Luke (Stevo) hears a ghostly voice – it’s Obi Wan (Ray Gravell) “Use The Force Luke!”.

 

Luke blows us the Death Star / Steveo kicks the penalty and Scarlets win. Horray.

 

In the end, all these idiots then get medals off Princess Leia: The Loyal band of followers of Blackwood Faramir, Will Chips Boromir, Alun of Elrond, Glorfindel Bryn@man, Gloin the Wasp,Denethar KCreg worked alongside the elves of Pearljam, Mrfwon, 157cb, J Windell, Ow, West Wales Dragon, JL1972, Rap, GA Plum, Redeyes, Neyland, Rolly, Joss,Admiral, MM, Wrigleyman, LLandre, N06, Jones cnr, Multinational, Highbury and the elusive Pimp and the exotic Turkish Fez.

 

We are ready to create History, we are History, this is our moment in time, in the footsteps of Legends. This is our Chapter. I believe the children are our future. I believe I can fly. My old man’s a dustman.

You will know the vengeance of the Lord Humungus! I promise you... nobody... nobody... gets out of here alive!
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SA14 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SA14 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:19pm
Actually, they say the Death star will be in range in five minutes in the film.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Leoslovechild Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:20pm
It must be great to have so much time on your hands and I suppose you may as well dream here as in bed...Just wrap up warm cos weather is going to be crap and I'd hate the brain that holds this imagination to get a chill!!! and just so you are aware the OLSC will be handing out blue hats and flags at the entrances on Saturday
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sam Cheese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:23pm

Thanks for the feedback, SA14. I don't know if you noticed, but I made some other changes that, while not stictly 'canon', were essential for me to realise my artistic vision.

You will know the vengeance of the Lord Humungus! I promise you... nobody... nobody... gets out of here alive!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sam Cheese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:26pm
Originally posted by Leoslovechild Leoslovechild wrote:

It must be great to have so much time on your hands and I suppose you may as well dream here as in bed...Just wrap up warm cos weather is going to be crap and I'd hate the brain that holds this imagination to get a chill!!! and just so you are aware the OLSC will be handing out blue hats and flags at the entrances on Saturday
 
You'd be amazed how quickly I can churn this crap out.
 
 
You will know the vengeance of the Lord Humungus! I promise you... nobody... nobody... gets out of here alive!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ow! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:27pm
is proctor bib fortuna?
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ladram View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ladram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:30pm
lofty's got nothing to worry about.Big smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:32pm
I prefer that to Lofty's drivel anyday (sorry Lofty Embarrassed). I particularly like the last two lines! Still laughing now!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:37pm
ha ha! superb
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sam Cheese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 4:43pm
Originally posted by ladram ladram wrote:

lofty's got nothing to worry about.Big smile
 
See about that, will we.
 
I heard his latest epic is based on bleak BBC 80s nuclear war docudrama 'Threads'. Doesn't sound to promising. In fact I bet he'll change it now he's read mine, the coward.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rolly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 5:28pm

I was drinking pop as i read that and its gone everywhere now .

Fair play thats good , made me laugh anyway .

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gene-Stealer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 6:42pm
"By which I mean walked using his legs" - that is too Funny
Can I be Boba Fett?
Shane Horgan would be the bloke with an arse face in the bar scene
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ow! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 9:04pm
martyn roberts is a jawa. leo cullen actually does look like one of the goons in jabba's palace.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jeremy windell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 10:03pm
Originally posted by Ow! Ow! wrote:

martyn roberts is a jawa. leo cullen actually does look like one of the goons in jabba's palace.
Aye, that noe with the snake wrapped round his head like!
 
Go ahead..........Take those banana's
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mrfwon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 10:07pm
Quality post again!!!ClapClapClap 
Scarlets!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sam Cheese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 December 2009 at 10:17pm
Originally posted by jeremy windell jeremy windell wrote:

Originally posted by Ow! Ow! wrote:

martyn roberts is a jawa. leo cullen actually does look like one of the goons in jabba's palace.

Aye, that noe with the snake wrapped round his head like!
 



No mate. That's Bib Fortuna. Ow! reckons Bib looks like Wayne Proctor. Can't see it meself TBH.
You will know the vengeance of the Lord Humungus! I promise you... nobody... nobody... gets out of here alive!
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