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Wil Chips View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wil Chips Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Global Alert Status
    Posted: 15 June 2011 at 2:18pm

Many nations increasing their terror alert status...  Wink

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and North Afirca and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 

Meanwhile, down under, Australia has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

 

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bazlewis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bazlewis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 2:58pm
Nice one Will .
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maldwyn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maldwyn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 4:39pm
Nice one John Cleese you mean
Up the bum no harm done.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SMELLYMIKE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 5:44pm
Very Weak ....Its been doing the rounds for weeksWink
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Wil Chips View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wil Chips Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 5:49pm
Bit more cheery than recent threada though...see, told you I was trying to turn over a new leaf...could do with some support from my mentor 'who has been down this path many times'...Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SMELLYMIKE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 6:09pm
Originally posted by Wil Chips Wil Chips wrote:

Bit more cheery than recent threada though...see, told you I was trying to turn over a new leaf...could do with some support from my mentor 'who has been down this path many times'...Wink
I would have normally helped you thru the darkness and back into the light ...but now as you indicated your intention of heading over into the badlands ...im afraid my goodwill has run out...No more meeetings , no more warm pies , no more intelligent debate.....Is the £20 worth ...Thats what i ask you to ask yourself...Its not to late
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lofty evans View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lofty evans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 6:41pm
Clap
Originally posted by Wil Chips Wil Chips wrote:

Many nations increasing their terror alert status...  Wink

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and North Afirca and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 

Meanwhile, down under, Australia has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

 

 
 
Quite day in work SirWinkLOL  Good stuffClap
In 1972, Roy Bergiers scored that try and said "that was for you lofty"

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"
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SMELLYMIKE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SMELLYMIKE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by lofty evans lofty evans wrote:

Clap
Originally posted by Wil Chips Wil Chips wrote:

Many nations increasing their terror alert status...  Wink

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and North Afirca and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 

Meanwhile, down under, Australia has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

 

 
 
Quite day in work SirWinkLOL  Good stuffClap
Even Quiet ...maybeLOL
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lofty evans View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lofty evans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2011 at 6:54pm
Originally posted by SMELLYMIKE SMELLYMIKE wrote:

Originally posted by lofty evans lofty evans wrote:

Clap
Originally posted by Wil Chips Wil Chips wrote:

Many nations increasing their terror alert status...  Wink

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and North Afirca and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 

Meanwhile, down under, Australia has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

 

 
 
Quite day in work SirWinkLOL  Good stuffClap
Even Quiet ...maybeLOL
 
 
Are you my bloody dictionary or what,,,, people in glass houses..........
In 1972, Roy Bergiers scored that try and said "that was for you lofty"

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"
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Wil Chips View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wil Chips Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 June 2011 at 4:28am

Poya holiday yesterday....having a Wednesday off is not that great TBH.

 
 
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SMELLYMIKE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SMELLYMIKE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 June 2011 at 6:31am
If you had a proper job , you would appreciate any day offShocked
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Wil Chips View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wil Chips Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 June 2011 at 6:43am
WackoIf I didn't have a proper job you'd be running around bollox naked.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redeyes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 June 2011 at 8:27am
That has made me laugh, excellent!
The stadium may change, but the dream will remain the same!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lofty evans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 June 2011 at 1:38pm
Originally posted by Wil Chips Wil Chips wrote:

WackoIf I didn't have a proper job you'd be running around bollox naked.
 
 
IncorrectBig smile Smelly has adult sized nappies,WinkLOLLOLLOL
 
 
 
 
In 1972, Roy Bergiers scored that try and said "that was for you lofty"

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"
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